Alarm Clocks, Ladies of the dance and Paul

Frank has three alarm clocks.

One to turn off, the second to remind him he really needs to get up and the third is there to make sure he's up.

He's not lazy, he just works 18 hours a day and drives an hour each way.  On his only day off Frank sleeps for 18 hours.  Just enough time to wake up and shower before his week starts all over again.

Teri-lynn gets off work at 6am and smells like Vanilla.  She's a stripper while she goes through law school.  She even has a 4 year old son named Tomas Caine, or TC for short.


No one ever see's Teri tired.  Frank looks like something Dr Frankenstein created.  Teri excels in her classes and her dancing.  Frank's on a performance improvement plan.

Frank and Teri-lynn have one thing in common.  Sleep deprivation.   Where the differ is how they handle it.  Frank drinks gallons of coffee a day to little affect.  Teri-lynn takes Spike tablets before class and library visits.   She's even been known to drink a spike shotgun while at work.

Enter Paul.  Paul drinks a spike shooter in the morning, has an expresso with lunch and knocks back a spike double shot before lifting.  He usually drinks a shotgun throughout the day.  Paul is ALWAYS tired, on edge and his workouts suck, let alone his mental capacity is severely diminished.


Spike is a line of energy supplements by Biotest.  They are very potent and should be used tactically and with care.

Take the case of Teri-lynn.  She takes full dose (2) spike tablets only before heavy cram sessions, for regular classes she takes just half a dose (1).  If she has the day off, she'll stay away from Spike.  As for the shotgun, she only drinks it at work when she's just got in from a big exam and needs a little extra oompf for her pole routine.

Paul - the habitual abuser of spike products has fried his nervous system.  He can't function even with all the spike products in the world.  The only thing that can save him now is to cut out the spike AND any external caffeine source.  He'll need to back his workouts down to light explosive work, make sure his diet is on point and get plenty of sleep every night.

Frank, poor frank.  If only he'd buy some spike.  He'll be able to function better and get off that performance improvement plan which will mean he wont have to work so much and can grab some sleep for a change. He'll need to back off the caffeine from coffee, cutting it to Zero would be very wise with the spike consumption.  For frank I'd recommend drinking a Spike Shotgun throughout work day starting by drinking half of it first thing in the morning.

Here is my breakdown of spike products and how to use them properly:

Spike Shooter: need to run through a brick wall? beat a deadlift PR? this is the drink for you.  Half a can is most people's needed dose for power and focus.  A whole can is very powerful and often too much for a normal workout/activity
Spike Shotgun: the daily slow drinker.  it brings the punch without the jitters
Spike Double shot: it's like 5 hour energy, except it works, great before a workout without over amping you
Spike Tablets: 1 tablet is enough for plenty of mental energy tasks such as all day of classes, 2 tablets is a little extra for when you need to stay up all night studying.

You can apply the three cases above to anyone, in Paul's place you can replace spike products with any other energy drink.  Too much can be harmful.

Spike is my energy product of choice, and thus this is my post on Spike's useage.  Not everyone needs spike.

Kiss My Candied Yam

It's the holiday's.

For those of us whom are not Jews, it's only 2-3 days of actual holidays.  Though we'll probably drag it out into 6 weeks of Candied Yams that aren't really yams but I digress, fudge brownies triple dipped in sugar crack, fruit cake that's so dense you could use it to power an Alcubierre Drive if you converted it to energy, and what ever other scrumptious delicacy we can  muster into our ever growing gullets.

Here's how we can fight the 6 weeks without becoming a shut in and still save our diets.

For the normies, those who do not partake in my passion for training nads out until we're nothing but a pile of gelatinous goo, this bit is for you.

So you've made it through thanksgiving and are now up 4 pounds.  After all miracle whip and turkey sandwiches go so well together.  Your office will probably be filled with everyone's "holiday cheer" aka toilet fodder.  What can you do to not end up 10 pounds heavier this winter?

Cut out your daily starbucks.  If you need caffeine drink Coffee.  It comes in a can labeled Folgers, and it's black just the way I like my metal.  This will cut out a metric crap ton of calories alone.

If someone offers you a cookie- I know you're going to eat it, you know it, don't stress your willpower too much, save it for something like showing up to work - don't eat it then, save it for your next meal THEN eat it.  This will help reduce binge eating.

Control the food you can, get up in the morning and cook a solid breakfast of protein and fats.  It wouldn't hurt to get some fiber in here.  Might I suggest weight control fiber tablets.  Protein, fat and fiber will help keep you full and somewhat resistant until at least 3pm when your blood sugar crashes from either lack of lunch or that crap you just got at McDonalds ( make your lunch fool!! ).

Get on a treadmill every few days, crank the incline up as high as it goes, but for the love of that sweet porcelain baby Jesus figure, don't hold the hand rails, it defeats the purpose.  30 minutes of good solid cardio is what your thighs need.

Back to the hardies -- no not Hardees.  Calm Down.

Use some of this extra holiday meal time to fuel some intense volumized workouts.

Don't carb backload during this time of year.  You're just asking for trouble.

Extra prowler sessions, skip the handles, press into the posts and get to going for distance.  Squeeze your glutes and quads the whole way for extra boom.

Squat twice a week.  1) it's always a good idea 2) it'll help turn that glowing rudolph pastry into something useful

Since you're no stranger to forcing yourself to do things you don't want to, have a carb day once a week. Keep your carbs lower during the other days.  Yes this is technically a cheat meal, but if you're going to do it, have some purpose.

For everyone, don't STRESS enjoy the holidays, indulge a bit, just don't get carried away.  If you do go nuts, tighten up your diet for a few days, curb the damage as best you can.

The holiday's aren't about getting fat, they should be about having fun.  You still don't get to eat french fries though, that's not holiday food.

Quick Mexican Casserole

Ingredients:
2 cups of dry long grain white rice
1-2 pounds of lean meat ( beef, chicken, turkey )
mexican seasonings of choice
1 can enchilada sauce
1 can tomato paste
1 pound of lower fat shredded cheese

Optional:
beans
salsa
anything else

Pre heat Oven to 425
Make rice according to the instructions the rice came in.
Cook meat with seasonings, drain, return to skillet and mix in tomato past and enchilada sauce.
Spread cooked rice across casserole dish bottom, then layer on the meat paste and top with cheese.

If using the optional ingredients simply add them in, I like rice, bean, meat, salsa, cheese.

Put casserole into oven and let the cheese get all melty, bubbly and tasty.

Serve on plate, bowls, or eat the whole dish.  Top with fat free sour cream if wanted.

The Original Snow flake.

No two snow flakes are alike.  Each and every one is different.

Let’s start with an introduction on snowflake formation. As you’re probably aware, evaporation from lakes and rivers send water vapor up into the atmosphere. That water vapor gathers in clouds.

Water molecules in clouds engage in a complex dance of phase changes. Variables such as temperature, pressure and even the presence of dust can affect snow formation. When it gets cold, the gaseous molecules want to enter the liquid phase, but it’s much easier for them to do so if they can find a solid on which to settle.

A cloud is essentially a mass of water vapor molecules that have found dust particles and condensed into water. As a cloud cools, a few of the droplets begin to freeze, while others resist turning to a solid. Some even evaporate back into their water vapor form. When the water vapor molecules come into contact with a frozen droplet, they freeze into a solid. Skipping the liquid phase is crucial to the snowflake process: It’s the difference between getting an ice droplet and a flake.

Infant snowflakes show little variation in their hexagonal design. If the process stopped here, all snowflakes would be visibly indistinguishable, 10-molecule structures. But it doesn’t stop there. Parts of the growing snow crystal have rough edges, or bonds, dangling off their sides, which are better at attracting other water molecules than the smoother parts of the hexagon. As more water vapor molecules settle on these bonds, the rough edges become a relatively large protuberance with its own rough edges, which attract more water molecules. Through this process, the rough edge becomes a branch of the crystal. Eventually the branches develop their own rough edges, which develop into sub-branches of the original branch, and so on.

The temperature and humidity also affect how new water vapor molecules bond to the growing snowflake. Warmer, drier conditions tend to create solid plates and prism shapes. As conditions in the cloud get colder and more moist, the beautiful winter-wonderland-type snowflakes become more common.

Now that our physics lesson is over, let's move on.

Sam and Justin just started working out.  Sam's done all of the research on what tempo, rest times, movements and weights to use.  Justin picked up Arnold's Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding

Justin gets up in the morning and does some fasted cardio before his breakfast shake, he might drink some black coffee if he's needing a kickstart.  Sam on the other hand slams some Mag-10 and does some light brisk walking on a treadmill before his breakfst.

When it comes time to hit the gym Sam goes in and does foam rolling, dynamic stretching, and drinks his peri workout nutrition before he goes and starts his routine for the day.  Sam's got a big day of bench pressing ahead, just bench pressing. He'll eventually work up to a training max for the day, drop the weight a bit and crank out some heavy clusters and some other out of the "norm" stuff.

Justin walks in the weight room, warms up with some jump rope and push ups.  He's barefoot, in some short sorts and no t-shirt.  He starts his routine off with some dumbbell bench pressing before moving to the inclined bench for some heavy sets of 8, then he moves to the cable station for some cross overs, sets of 15, you can see the strain in his face and his pecs contracting at the top of each rep which turns out to be short of a full range of motion.

Two guys, same goals, different approaches.  Why?   Is Sam trying to be "original"? Or is Justin trying to mimic the "original".

We see this in the fitness industry a lot.  Someone comes out with something different from the "norm" suggesting it's the latest and greatest.  Sure it could be, but is it?  Or are they just trying to be different?

It's often said people aren't snow flakes.  What works will simply work.  While that may be true, we need to take other things into account.  Fitness level, strength levels, training age ( 5 months, 5 years, 15 years ), personal preferences, goals, etc.

Originality Complex is what I call it when people create something "new" for the sake of being different.  Everyone needs their thing to make them unique, this is a good thing.  However it's a bad thing when it's done and they completely ignore time proven methods and instantly dismiss them.

Everything works until it doesn't.  Results are what matters, however the path to get there is important.  You don't want to go on a road trip and have 2 blow outs and over heat twice, do you?  No, you want to make it to Vegas with the least amount of bumps in the road and minimal traffic.

I'm not picking one side over the other.  I have my personal feelings based on what I've learned and tried.  So should you.  Do not blindly follow a method, whether it's in the gym, school or work.  Ask questions, find what works best for you.

In this regard we are all special snow flakes.  Just remember when you learn something "new and original" that it's probably recycled from something from a few years ago.  Everything comes full circle.

Now excuse me, I've got mag-10 to go drink and sets of 15 cable cross overs to do.

Ultimate Peanut Butter Cookies

I like peanut butter cookies. Who doesn't? Ohh you don't? Well there's the door, feel free to let it hit your butt on the way out!

Now for those of us still here, the cool people. I bring to you, Peanut butter flour peanut butter cookies.

1 large egg ( 2 medium eggs )
1 1/4 cup sugar substitute ( I used splenda )
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup peanut butter
1 1/2 cups peanut flour
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 TBSP coconut oil ( melted )

Preheat oven to 375°F and grease baking sheet.

Beat together egg, sugar, baking soda and vanilla. Beat in the peanut butter. Add peanut flour until you have a firm dough. You might need to let it sit after mixing to solidify a bit.

Drop dough by teaspoonfuls onto prepared baking sheet, pressing lightly with the back of a fork to slightly flatten ( make that cool X pattern!! ). Bake for 5-7 minutes, until lightly set.

Let cool thoroughly on cookies sheets ( no sneak eating, you'll thank me )

You're living your life wrong.

I recently asked a question on facebook: "Have you looked at your life lately? Is there something you're doing that you shouldn't or something that isn't needed?".  I didn't get many responses, okay I got Zero.  I didn't get many likes on this one either.  I was slightly taken away for a moment but then I realized why - It's a hard question and an even harder task.

Would you want some total stranger coming up to you and telling you that you're doing something wrong with your life?   Of course not.  You also wouldn't want someone to tell you that you're wasting your time with an endeavor.

People like to think they are perfect, we're not.  I'm not.  You're not.  The cute barista is not, remember that one time they forgot the extra non-fat double shot of organic fruit milk?

Most everyone has something in their life they could do without.  It may be something small, like staying up late for the daily show.  Maybe it's something bigger, what about that "friend" who only drags you down and makes you feel bad.  Others it's junk food, gambling, smoking, lying, being a jerk, porn, drinking, or too much xbox.  The list could go on.

Not everything we do is "bad" for us in a physical/mental way some things are just time sinks that could have the energy focused elsewhere.

Roll the clock back 3 years.  It's 2009.  The night before thanksgiving.  My sister's soon to be in laws were in town for the first time, as a family group we went out for Mexican for dinner.  As was my tradition at the time, I got hammered on tequila and margaritas.  On the way home, I had my then girlfriend stop so I could get beer.  I was down 2 bottles before I made it back home.  I vaguely remember some conversations taking place before I had to go "sleep".  It was more like pass out drunk.

A switch went off some where, I don't know exactly why or how, but Thanksgiving day I decided to stop drinking.  With the exception of 1 margarita, 10 shots of tequila, half a pitcher of Dos Equis and maybe 5 glasses of wine I haven't had a drink since then.  With Zero alcohol since May 2011.

The mexican booze is a story for another day, maybe.

Now lets let time flow to October 2010.

I had a friend I was madly in love with.  In reality I was so emotionally attached that it was bad for both of us.  I chose to end the friendship.  Granted I did things wrong and probably should of behaved better I did what I did.  It's taken 2 years for us to be able to say hello in public without it being some weird cut the tension with a strand of hair thing.

Now back to my point.  There's always something that is in your life that you need to re-evaluate.  Those over attached bonds to things or friends may not be good for you.  Your vice may not be good for you.  Do you have a tendency to procrastinate before a project or event and then you get into a mad sleepless and angry fury?  Yeah, that's not good for you either.

Some things you should just stop now, like smoking or getting drunk 4 nights a week.  You know it's bad for you so strengthen up and stop.  Ask for help if you need it.

Other things might require a bit more thought as it "is this bad for me".  I don't have the answers for everything or everyone, but take a good hard look.  See if there is anything in your life that's a negative, either turn it into a positive or let it go.

What did you call me?

"You're just a Weekend Warrior."

That's not very nice sounding is it?  Let's look at the phrase, weekend warrior.  Everyone wants to be a warrior, but put weekend in front of it and instantly it sounds like a negative.

Ponder this: powerlifting meets, body building contests, strongman events, olympic weightlifting, all of these happen the majority of the time on the weekends.  Would you call a competitive powerlifter a weekend warrior?  Only if you wanted your head chewed off.

Lets back up a bit first.

Im at the gym 5-6 days a week.  I don't eat crappy foods, I don't drink alcohol, I get 7-8 hours of sleep every night, I don't party and I don't skip meals.  I could go on and on and I'm not even as extreme as some!  I wouldn't call myself a powerlifter or a body builder , I'm simply a guy who loves lifting, wants to be big, strong, and healthy.  I do what I love and I love what I do.  For me, what you see as a sacrifice is just payment towards my goals.

I'm not a weekend warrior.  Not because I think it's a negative phrase, instead I feel it's a postive phrase.  However it's reserved for those warriors that compete on the weekends: Body builders, powerlifters, olympic lifters, tough triathletes , or anyone else that gets out there on the weekends and gives it their all.

What do you call me you ask?  Porter to many, Ron to others or to some "hey guy".  Enthusiast isn't the right word either, I feel enthusiasts are those that just sit around talking about something and never "doing".  Sure, you might go to the gym five days a week on a perfect week, but what about when someone wants to go out for dinner or you don't feel good?  Suddenly you've only gone in two days a week.

There's nothing wrong with someone that uses the gym as a tool so they can eat out and not feel guilty.  They are still probably better off than those that don't make it to the gym.  They aren't weekend warriors though.

You can't simply label everything.  I know why I train.  Notice I said train.  I don't workout, I train for a specific goal and purpose.  Every session has a reason and builds upon the others.  At the end of the day, I don't care what you call me.  I'm in this for me and me alone.

Are you going to let someone else's label affect you?  I sure wont.  Get out there and do your thing, don't worry about what you're called.