Chicken No-Noodle Soup

Easy Wholesome Chicken Noodle Soup... Minus the noodles.

Ingredients:

• Chicken Breast
• Chicken Stock
• Veggies to add ( celery, carrots, onions, parsley, radish, garlic, bay leaf were all used for mine )
• Fat to add in ( coconut oil is pretty damned tasty 3 TBSP )

What else you need:

• Large Pot
• Wooden Spoon
• Two forks
• Tongs 
• Open Flame/heating element, duh

Steps:

1. Place chicken breasts into pot
2. Cover chicken breasts with stock
3. Add Oil 3TBSP is probably plenty of what ever you use
4. Turn heat to high and bring to boil
5. While this all comes to a boil chop your veggies how ever you like and set aside 
6. Add the flavor veggies to the boil ( onions, celery, radish, bay leaf, garlic, parsley ) 
7. Turn down to simmer for 1 hour
8. Using tongs pull chicken out of pot and place onto cutting board/surface top
9. Using two forks, shred the chicken and add it back to the pot
10. Add carrots and let simmer for another 30 minutes to an hour.

That is it, enjoy!  I garnished mine with some chopped green onion and red pepper flakes.

If you really wanted to you could add noodles at the end and bring to a boil until noodles are ready.

The Originality Complex

"Hi Billy Mays here"...

If there ever was a master of re-inventing the wheel just because, it's the guys behind sold only on TV merchandise.

I've briefly touched on what I call the Originality Complex previously.  I feel it deserves it's own focus.

Ever notice the trend of constantly refreshing something old? You see it with movies, TV tropes ( hello yet another serial cop show... ), internet trainers, supplement companies, diet fads,  phone apps and so much more.

It is as if people think we wont see through the veil of recycled products with just a different name, yet we fall for it, otherwise they wouldn't still be doing it.

I'm going to touch on the subject of trainers and nutrition as it relates to originality.

99.9999% of what is out there is all the same recycled crap.  You can't just invent new methods over night, often what is preached as a new method isn't really new, or honestly that original.  It's just "New" to you.  For example the "paleo diet", there's nothing new about this, especially if you buy into the fact you should only eat what primitive man had available to him.  Well if a cave man ate this was, it's not new, it's just different from out current society.


The green faces diet, which is one where if it's not green or come from something with a face it is not on the safe list, with a few exceptions.  Basically eat green veggies and meats from animals.  The cuter, the better.  Mmm Veal.  What is "new" about this?  Nothing really, but it works. ( Courtesy Chris Colucci Green Faces Diet )

"But P-dub, what about the juicing diet?" you ask. Don't, just don't.  Yes you're going to get probably more fruit and veggies than you have ever eaten in your life, but at what cost?  We did not evolve to consume "juice".  This is an example of inventing something for the sake of inventing something.

If we weren't supposed to eat animals they wouldn't be made out of meat.

Ben Bruno invents some new single leg movement every week - why? Who is that advanced they need to isolate the Abductor Longus' twelfth muscle bundle?  No one.  Yes Ben has impressive single limb strength and reasons for doing what he does.  However is he really inventing something "new" or is it inventing something for the sake of inventing something?

Christian Thibaudeau who I enjoy learning from and respect came up with a "new" approach to body building a ways back called I Body Builder, it works.  It works well by most accounts-  For those that bothered to follow it as directed.  He didn't invent anything exactly, he did however blend movements into an approach that works.

Crossfit - great, you're doing something but do you know what or why you're doing it?  Crossfit is a great example of inventing something for the sake of inventing something.  If you think your Fran time or your Juxtaposed movements and methodological really prepares you for "life" then well, I've got some beach front property in Kansas I'd like to sell you.

When facing these "new" things you might do well to ask questions.

Is this something I really need to meet my goals?
Does this go against current logic and general knowledge?
Does the author or company have a history of selling hopes and dreams?
Who do I know who has personally done this?
Is it too good to be true?

Studies lie or more aptly are miss represented to sell products.  Supporters are bought.  Question anything and everything as it relates to someone selling you something.

Question my questioning of the system!

Can reinventing the wheel be useful?  I think so- yes.  Can it also be bad and just plain stupid?  Emphatically yes!

Curried Basil Coconut Chicken

I've experimented around with this based on a hunger I was having.

I was craving something with a curry flavor.  I also wanted to use some coconut butter.  A lot of curry recipes call for coconut milk.

Traditionally curry's don't even use curry powder!! So I made up my own food, like I normally do when I'm not stealing it from someone else.

1) Start rice maker with desired amount of Rice( used a touch of curry powder for color on the above photo ).
2) Dice, Slice, Cube Chicken meat quantity of choice
3) heat non stick skillet with glob of Coconut Oil
4) Mix spices* ( curry powder, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, salt, black pepper, basil, paprika, ginger and ground mustard )
5) Add chicken to hot oil
6) Add spice mixture to chicken, Mix Thoroughly.
7) Once chicken is done, add globs of coconut butter to desired coating.  It'll melt right in.  Mix well.
8) Top chicken on a plate or bowl of the rice.

For the spices, depending on my mood I vary quantities.  Sometimes it's more cayenne and ginger, sometimes it's a lot of garlic, light cayenne.

As pictured above you could make 1 plate worth with 1 chicken breast or you can make a lot at once

Southern Fried Things

See that fried pork chop?  It's healthy for you.

Yep, healthy.

I used rice flour instead of regular flour and pan fried it in coconut oil.  You could use almond meal.  Make sure it's a good meal, not that Bob's Red Mill saw dust junk.

Take a pan, get it hot, add coconut oil.  Two large spoonfuls should work.

Put flour on a flat plate, crack some eggs in a bowl and beat them, then dreadge desired food item for frying through egg then flour.

Add to hot pan with hot coconut oil, cook to desired cookedness.

I highly suggest adding seasoning to the flour.  Salt, pepper, spices, meat dust, etc.

As Chris Shugart has shown in his thread here you can use this on all sorts of things.

The rest of the dish was a gluten free mac - n - cheese dish from Kroger.  Then roasted tomatoes, asparagus and brussels sprouts.

Resolutions are for losers.

You know who makes resolutions?  Losers.

That's right.  Losers.  Did you make a resolution?  Loser!

This seems harsh but in reality many of you are going to fail your resolution, and badly, like a loser.  New things are always shiny and awesome.  Then not so much.

Look it's hard to complete a change.  I know it, everyone and everything is going to be against it.

You know how to win?  Stop trying to change.  Do it.  Grit your teeth, push through and do not take no for an answer.  Nothing is going to change unless you make it happen.

So what are you waiting for?  Ohh that's right, January 1st, that's what.  So suddenly on this day you're going to change?  Give me a break.

You're not going to change, you're still going to be what ever the hell it is you are now.

Lets face it, 90% of these resolutions are probably about diet and exercise.  

Are you really going to sit here and tell me you need January 1 to make your goals a reality?  What is holding you back?

You are holding yourself back.  Not me, not the world, not even the holiday smorgasbord of food.  You.  You ate that fudge, you ate that cake, you had to have 9 holiday parties filled with shit foods.  Yeah, shit foods, because they made you look and feel like shit.

Why do I say you're going to fail? It's because you've got no willpower, you don't have the mental fortitude to deal with it.  Sure you're going to start off great, then it's going to start getting hard.  Someone will have a birthday and you'll want cake.  Then you're too busy, so you hit up the Golden Arches.  Before you know it your diet is blown to pieces, your weight has climbed back up and you've got a new gym membership you'll probably keeping paying on for the next few months.

Everyone will turn against you and your goals, you're at the gym too much, gosh why are you eating so healthy, you look fine, come-on live a little.  Without giving a giant middle finger to every inconsiderate self centered whale and guilt projecting tard burgler  you will never make it through this.

Controversy.  That's when you know you're doing something right.  If people are trying to sabotage your goals, don't worry, call them out and then keep going.  Fuel your fire.  I dare you.

Seriously, prove me and everyone else wrong, because as far as I'm concerned, you're a loser and are incapable of doing it.


---------------------------


Note: this is meant to either make you or break you.  If you personally feel attacked, good, that means I did my job and hopefully you're going to excel.  If this did nothing for you, then you've already failed.

Do not be afraid to ask for help from someone if you need help reaching your goal.  You'll only appear weak if you don't ask and fail as a result.

Not quite perfected, Perfect Granola

2 cups minute oatmeal
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
boat load of penzy's cinnamon
nutmeg
melted 80% cacao ( about a serving )
finely diced candied ginger
1 TBSP coconut oil
pinch of salt
pecan pieces
1/4 cup of splenda

Pre-heat oven to 350

Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl.

Then mix in 1/4 cup of water a little splash at a time.  The oatmeal mixture should be clumping together You might need more than 1/4 cup of water.  I just kind of winged it, maybe closer to half a cup.

Once the mixture is mixed well and clumpish, stir in melted cacao and melted coconut oil.

Spread across coconut oil greased glass baking dish and bake for 30 minutes.  Check firmness by breaking granola into pieces.  If the granola is still damp or moist, return to over in 15 minute intervals checking on it.  It should take about 1 hour total.

Variations: Add pumpkin seeds, pine nuts, other seeds/nuts as you see fit.

Serve over greek yogurt like the attached photo or perhaps in a bowl of almond milk

Notes:

A lot of granola recipes call for lots of sugar ingredients such as sugar, molasses, honey, agave and olive oil.  I wanted to make a better granola.  This recipe is the first step.  I will experiment with it a bit more.

I've also seen where you could use a nut butter as a binding agent.  I may play around with that in the future when I work on granola bars.

Kiss My Candied Yam

It's the holiday's.

For those of us whom are not Jews, it's only 2-3 days of actual holidays.  Though we'll probably drag it out into 6 weeks of Candied Yams that aren't really yams but I digress, fudge brownies triple dipped in sugar crack, fruit cake that's so dense you could use it to power an Alcubierre Drive if you converted it to energy, and what ever other scrumptious delicacy we can  muster into our ever growing gullets.

Here's how we can fight the 6 weeks without becoming a shut in and still save our diets.

For the normies, those who do not partake in my passion for training nads out until we're nothing but a pile of gelatinous goo, this bit is for you.

So you've made it through thanksgiving and are now up 4 pounds.  After all miracle whip and turkey sandwiches go so well together.  Your office will probably be filled with everyone's "holiday cheer" aka toilet fodder.  What can you do to not end up 10 pounds heavier this winter?

Cut out your daily starbucks.  If you need caffeine drink Coffee.  It comes in a can labeled Folgers, and it's black just the way I like my metal.  This will cut out a metric crap ton of calories alone.

If someone offers you a cookie- I know you're going to eat it, you know it, don't stress your willpower too much, save it for something like showing up to work - don't eat it then, save it for your next meal THEN eat it.  This will help reduce binge eating.

Control the food you can, get up in the morning and cook a solid breakfast of protein and fats.  It wouldn't hurt to get some fiber in here.  Might I suggest weight control fiber tablets.  Protein, fat and fiber will help keep you full and somewhat resistant until at least 3pm when your blood sugar crashes from either lack of lunch or that crap you just got at McDonalds ( make your lunch fool!! ).

Get on a treadmill every few days, crank the incline up as high as it goes, but for the love of that sweet porcelain baby Jesus figure, don't hold the hand rails, it defeats the purpose.  30 minutes of good solid cardio is what your thighs need.

Back to the hardies -- no not Hardees.  Calm Down.

Use some of this extra holiday meal time to fuel some intense volumized workouts.

Don't carb backload during this time of year.  You're just asking for trouble.

Extra prowler sessions, skip the handles, press into the posts and get to going for distance.  Squeeze your glutes and quads the whole way for extra boom.

Squat twice a week.  1) it's always a good idea 2) it'll help turn that glowing rudolph pastry into something useful

Since you're no stranger to forcing yourself to do things you don't want to, have a carb day once a week. Keep your carbs lower during the other days.  Yes this is technically a cheat meal, but if you're going to do it, have some purpose.

For everyone, don't STRESS enjoy the holidays, indulge a bit, just don't get carried away.  If you do go nuts, tighten up your diet for a few days, curb the damage as best you can.

The holiday's aren't about getting fat, they should be about having fun.  You still don't get to eat french fries though, that's not holiday food.

Quick Mexican Casserole

Ingredients:
2 cups of dry long grain white rice
1-2 pounds of lean meat ( beef, chicken, turkey )
mexican seasonings of choice
1 can enchilada sauce
1 can tomato paste
1 pound of lower fat shredded cheese

Optional:
beans
salsa
anything else

Pre heat Oven to 425
Make rice according to the instructions the rice came in.
Cook meat with seasonings, drain, return to skillet and mix in tomato past and enchilada sauce.
Spread cooked rice across casserole dish bottom, then layer on the meat paste and top with cheese.

If using the optional ingredients simply add them in, I like rice, bean, meat, salsa, cheese.

Put casserole into oven and let the cheese get all melty, bubbly and tasty.

Serve on plate, bowls, or eat the whole dish.  Top with fat free sour cream if wanted.

Ultimate Peanut Butter Cookies

I like peanut butter cookies. Who doesn't? Ohh you don't? Well there's the door, feel free to let it hit your butt on the way out!

Now for those of us still here, the cool people. I bring to you, Peanut butter flour peanut butter cookies.

1 large egg ( 2 medium eggs )
1 1/4 cup sugar substitute ( I used splenda )
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup peanut butter
1 1/2 cups peanut flour
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 TBSP coconut oil ( melted )

Preheat oven to 375°F and grease baking sheet.

Beat together egg, sugar, baking soda and vanilla. Beat in the peanut butter. Add peanut flour until you have a firm dough. You might need to let it sit after mixing to solidify a bit.

Drop dough by teaspoonfuls onto prepared baking sheet, pressing lightly with the back of a fork to slightly flatten ( make that cool X pattern!! ). Bake for 5-7 minutes, until lightly set.

Let cool thoroughly on cookies sheets ( no sneak eating, you'll thank me )

Long life tomato soup

Ingredients:

2.5 pounds of mixed tomatoes, preferably vine-ripened
Several cloves of garlic or a couple of spoonfuls of pre-minced jarred garlic
2 yellow onions
Half a cup of extra-virgin olive oil
1 quart reduced-sodium organic chicken stock
2 bay leaves
Pink sea salt and fresh ground pepper
4 tablespoons omega-3 Smart Balance stick butter
1/2 cup of fresh basil or a few tablespoons of dried
3/4 cup of half-n-half ( optional )
Avocado

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 450.
2. Wash and core the tomatoes, cut into halves. Slice onions. Peel garlic cloves if using whole ones.
3. Add tomatoes, onions, and garlic to a baking tray and drizzle with the olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Roast in oven for 20 to 30 minutes. They should look caramelized.
4. Transfer it all into a big pot. Add chicken stock, bay leaves and butter. Bring to boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes or until liquid is reduced (evaporated and thickened) by about a third.
5. Add basil to pot, then use an immersion stick-style blender to puree the soup until fairly smooth. I like to leave mine a little grainy and chunky.
6. Return soup to low heat, add half-n-half if your diet goals allow for it, then add more chicken stock if you want it thinner.
7. Add more sea salt and pepper if you want, pour into bowl, and garnish with avocado slices.

-- Recipe borrowed from my buddy ChrisShugart

Goes great with some turkey bacon crumbled on top or even better a roasted poblano pepper stuffed with a touch of goat cheese and turkey bacon!!

Reeses peanut butter pie

You can make this and eat the whole thing without feeling like a total fat person.  Just a partial one!
 Note: you can make this fattier and carbier if you wish.  Use real peanut butter and a pre-baked pie crust.
Ingredients:

Crust: diced walnuts
4 oz fat-free cream cheese (half a standard package)
1/4 cup fat-free sour cream
1/4 cup Splenda
8 oz Cool Whip, sugar free
2 scoop chocolate Metabolic Drive
butt load of PB2 ( available at large grocers or online )

Directions

1. Line the bottom of a pie tin or bowl with diced walnuts

2. In a bowl, mix up the cream cheese, sour cream, and Splenda with a fork.

3. Fold in thawed Cool Whip, PB2, and Metabolic Drive ( add more protein powder or PB2 to taste ).

4. Pour over "crust."

5. Chill for a few hours in the fridge or one hour in the freezer.

6. Eat the whole thing whole watching Glee. I won't tell.